Kane and Williams proved average-case wire lower bounds at the $n^{5/2}/\mathrm{polylog}, n$ scale for an explicit function against depth-two linear-threshold circuits. We prove an almost-everywhere near-cubic wire lower bound for a language in $\mathrm{E}^{\mathrm{NP}}$. For every fixed $c>0$, there is one language $F_c$ and positive constants $b_{S,c}$ and $b_{T,c}$ such ... more >>>